Positive Logic

The Truth

Re-post from October 2010...but it bears repeating.

Adeline was 78 years old before she understood. And, boy, was she mad.

Jesus, I know you're not accustomed to being spoken to this way, but you're about to get an earful. And you can't run like Billy used to, cause you're everywhere. So sit down and take your medicine.

You are in trouble, Mister. Would you like to tell me why you made me wait until my knees won't bend, my eyes won't see and my body is a roadmap of wrinkles to figure this out? This little nugget, I could have used when I was 24 with three babes under three, thank you very much. This smidgeon of information that would have come in handy when I caught Andy rolling in the barn with that Schmidts girl. Might you have whispered in my ear when my Alan got colon cancer and we lost the farm?

I've spent my whole entire life worrying. Worrying myself awake at night. Worrying so that my breath came too fast and my fingers tingled. Worrying and fretting out loud until my husband was ready for his early grave.
And now...now, you show me the truth. A truth that might have made all the difference.

No matter what, everything is going to be okay.

Unreliable Narrator

I am not in danger
But I can't convince myself.
I can't quiet the fear,
The voice inside that says,
Nothing's right.
Nothing's good enough.
Nothing's safe.

She's an unreliable narrator
Building a story of woe
That hasn't happened yet
And very likely won't.
Still she speaks
And I listen
And tremble.

What is she afraid of?
That I will suffer?
I suffer now in fear.
That I will lose?
I lose because of fear.
That I will hurt another?
I hurt others through my fear.

And suddenly I find that
Because of fear
All that I fear is realized.

There You Are

Across the table
I see you differently
A bigger picture
Of what we are together
Greater than the sum

Indian Giver

When I could not fight
And I could not fly
I pleased to survive.
I gave myself up.
Collapsing around the center.
Limp like prey, powerless.

But now I can fight
And I can fly.
I can choose when to please
And when to follow my pleasure.
I may have given me willingly
but I am taking me back.

Don't try to stop me.
I'm not feeling generous.

Who's Gonna Stop Me?

Peace

Don't despair.
Believe in the innocent you once were.
She is not lost but wizened by pain.
Shed hard won wisdom and be wild
When you feel your heavy heart overtake you.
You were happy once. You were simpler.
Remember. Feel it. Let it grow again.
She will come back to you like an old friend.
And joy can then be the sense
That soothes you as you fall to sleep.
Silence no longer frightening.
Action no longer exhaustion.
Peace.

On Egg Shells

I'm sorry before
I begin. No chance of praise.
Always wrong/dumb/wrong.